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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358564">A little bit of ecstasy, A little bit of you and me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochiipetals/pseuds/mochiipetals'>mochiipetals</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>aphmau - Fandom, mcd - Fandom, minecraftdiares</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drug Addiction, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied arguments, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jealousy, M/M, Open Relationships, guess who the boy is lol, this is super short and i was just feeling poetic idk, this reads kinda toxic but i promise you this isn't how i normally view their relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:47:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochiipetals/pseuds/mochiipetals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janus had developed a bad habit, with no intention of getting clean.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zane/Janus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A little bit of ecstasy, A little bit of you and me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was like a drug.</p><p>A puff of smoke, a snort of powder, a drop of spirits.</p><p>Janus had developed a bad habit, with no intention of getting clean.</p><p>The drug went by many names, but the symptoms stayed the same. Symptoms including: mood swings, finding random bruises and scratches along the skin, craving, lack of control, decreased socialization,... complete dependence.</p><p>No matter how much friends reached out, family scolding him... he always kept going back. But no matter how much he took, drank, smoke... it wasn't always his. The habit got into other people, Janus' supply started to dwindle from all the new buyers... and he wasn't dealing with withdrawals well.</p><p>Breakdowns, yelling, apologizing, yelling again. It was an endless circle that always ended and started with Janus crawling back for more.</p><p>To call it 'jealousy' was an understatement. It was beyond hoarding or protective. He was a covetousness monster.</p><p> </p><p>He had found another boy was cutting into Janus' dose. Little by little taking more of his cigarettes, practically from his pocket.<br/>
And the habit follows the boy, leaving Janus.</p><p>What made that boy better than him? Was it because his hair was white like his... just cleaner? Was it the way his eyes sparkled like emerald gemstones and Janus' only mulled over a matte baby blue? Maybe it was the boy's honeyed skin that was clearer than freshwater while Janus' skin resembled marred quartz?</p><p>The more Janus thought alone to himself, comparing himself to his youthful competition, the more jealous bile rose in his throat, threatening to choke him.</p><p>--</p><p>The doorbell had echoed through the apartment with an accompany dread. Janus had expected him. His habit was dark as night, bitter as pre-ripened apples, and as unforgiving as death itself.</p><p>What meant to be a peaceful dinner turned into a heated argument, which turned into scorching words and tears, which turned into bandaged apologies, followed by carnal ecstasy.</p><p>Now here he lay, undressed in bed. The man he loves sleeping beside him- no not loves... craves, depends. He smoothes out his forehead and sighs into the silent room.</p><p>"I don't ever want to get clean..."</p>
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